The beginning?... Or is it the end?

     Have you ever thought back to when you were a child and thought about what you wanted to be when you grew up and ask yourself how you ended up doing what your doing? Well I find myself doing that more often than I'd like too. 
     When I was a kid, I knew that I wanted to be a writer.  Not the romantic love story, sweaty babe without a shirt kind of writing, but just about the real world.  Maybe like a journalist.  I don't think I would be too good at writing about wars and robberies.  I think more like trash magazines. Yea, thats more my cup of tea.       Sadly, things didn't turn out that way for me.  Don't get me wrong, I've got a good job.  I work at a bank, as a telephone banker. Again, yea I didn't say great! I have a comfy desk, good co-workers, and a great boss. What more could I ask for right? WRONG. 
     More and more lately I find myself wondering if I am just turning out how I promised I would never be....I resigned myself to this business.  Instead of going for what I want, I'm going to college to continue to sit at that comfy desk that I am confined to 6 hours (Most of the time 12) because it's safe. I don't have the luxury of being daring and bold.  I have 5.5 kids.  Yes I said 5.5.  I have 5 children and my significant other.  I am the proud mom of 4 boys and 1 girl, on top of the work and the school. 
     What we all wonder in life is what I am wondering right now.  Should I play it safe? Do I continue to be the status quo and clock in at the same time everyday; eyeing the clock and praying to God it moves faster? Or do I say to hell with it and just run like a crazy person escaping the mental hospital? (Mental hospitals will be gone into depth later)
     Somedays I am okay with all the mistakes I have made and the path that I took myself and others I am kicking myself and wondering how easy it would be to just go for it.  Run, run, run.  And then I wake up. I am ALWAYS gonna play it safe, because years ago I didn't and it almost cost me my family, my life. 
     So instead I have decided to start my own blog.  Just to kind of ramble on about nothing and then maybe to share some juicy gossip.  Haha.  I have been through so much throughout my 30 years of life that some of them hve even said it would make a great book! So it may not be a book, but its about mi vida loca (my crazy life) past, present, and my hopes for the future....