It has been so long since I have had to opportunity to write on my blog. Apparently, there were a lot of "technical difficulties" with my domain name, etc and whatnot. So much has happened since the last time that I wrote in 2012. Carlos and I continue to tread along together in the crazy world, that we call life.
Some utterly amazing news...We finally had a little girl! Since I can remember I knew that I wanted to have little girls. I wanted to love them and give them an amazing life like I never had growing up. I want that so much for all of my kids. We named her Juliet Gloriana. Our daughter Olivia named her Juliet based on the song "Love Story" by Taylor Swift. Gloriana I choose to honor my grandmother Gloria, who raised me like her own. Ana came from my best friend whom I don't know where I would be without.
I am still in the radical world of the financial industry, however I must say that I am growing old with it and I am trying still to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I have come to learn that no matter where you work, it is not how hard you work or how much schooling you have. It is about who you know and how much @$$ you are willing to kiss in order to get where you want.
As I continue to try to make my way towards getting my degree (slowly) I have learned that I am only one person and that I cannot do it all. I can try, but am only losing my insanity in the process. I still do not know how to prioritize. In my dream world, I would be a writer for a living, the house would clean it self up, I would have enough time to write while also having unlimited hours to play with my children. I would not have to worry about my bills, and I would be a genius and would obtain my degree within a year. Thats not my reality...
My reality is arguing with the husband, while trying to keep the kids from killing each other. I have a job that I am really good at, yet have no desire to keep going at. I feel like I am never going to get my degree, and I suffer from sleep deprivation... Ugh The only things that have remained the same is the constant pain that I suffer from due to my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, the great friends the I have, the family and partner that I would give my life for, and my unwaivering faith in my Higher Power; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Writing has always been a comfort for me. It helps me to release all the feelings that I keep bottled up and that kill me to the depths of my soul. I haven't written for a year and I am not who I used to be. No one realizes how good it feels to release everything and not have to swallow it like a lump in your throat. Try someday you will see what I mean.
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